Blessed...

...with a wonderful family!





I am in such bliss right now! What most parents take for granted I am cherishing.

You see when you have a child 15 weeks early you don't get to cuddle,kiss,love on them, you don't get to hear the cries, you don't get to change diapers, you don't get to bath or feed them naturally in the privacy of your home and you don't get to go home with them after giving birth instead you hear bells and ringing everyone is watching you, you have to pump your milk in a room that is the size of a closet, you see your child get poked throughout the day and getting fed through the multiply i.v.s they have. So that is why I love getting up just to look at Leah sometimes I cry because its hard to believe what a perfect little girl I have, her blue eyes look back at me and she smiles thats really all it takes from either of my kids a smile and all the hard times get pushed away. I am proud of my kids, Leah is a great baby she does cry and its ear piercing but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Jonathan he is my fighter and still is, he loves his ice cream, nacho cheese and sour cream, suckers and coke yes I know what a great mom I am! He has come so far and he is the king of smiles that loves to "walk" in his pony walker!
I have been going around the house lately just singing a song that sums everything up its called "Blessed" by Martina McBride I do thank God every night for all he has giving me! My kids are the best and I love them dearly

First haircut!

Jonathan got his first haircut a couple days ago! I didn't know how he would handle it but had a feeling he would be fine. Jonathan has no real sensory issues you can brush his hair, you can touch his mouth he even loves his teeth brushed1 I think the baby massage that I still continue almost every night has helped, he get a full body massage from head to toes with baby lotion and all, I think my turn is about up!
So Jonathan's Aunt Jessi cut his hair he did great smiling pretty much the whole time the only problem we really had was he didn't want to sit in his highchair actually he didn't want to sit period so instead he laid across my lap.

This past week my friend Jamie came over to give Jonathan a birthday gift and Leah got a beautiful outfit! Jonathan loves this gift its a dog named Scout from Vtech and you can program it to say your childs name, favorite color, favorite food and I am sure there is many more things it does but I was just as excited to play with it! Jonathan smiles and "talks" to his new "woof woof" he actually says ooff ooff which we know as woof woof!



Everything is going so great in our household, I thank God every night for this perfect family I have!

Leah is a month old!

Holy cow where does time go? Leah was a month old on the 4th! She is 7lbs 5ozs which is a lot considering she was 5.4lbs when she was born than came home at 5lbs so in a matter of 3 weeks she has managed to gain over 2lbs. I know I am crazy but I called the doctor to see if she was gaining to fast her response was first she laughed then she said its nearly impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby my response was but at night (and after every feed I pump because she doesn't empty my breast) my husband feeds her 120ml bottle(4oz) again she laughed and said there is only a handful of her parents that would even know what 120mls are she told me "Leah is a typical baby she is doing fine" now when I heard these words all I could think about is Jonathans NI nurse Kim, this was a typical response from her "everything will be fine" and it usually is, I must be a very paranoid parent but who can blame me! I spent 5 months in a hospital that is NOT normal! SO I must say Leah is doing everything a "typical" baby should. She is starting to get her days and nights in order which is very nice! She is so alert and looks around to find the face that is talking to her.
She did manage to get a blocked tear duct but so did Jonathan, a very easy thing to treat! We still have not ventured out so most of my family have not even met our little princess. We do go on car rides and she, like her brother love car rides!

My poor boy

So my last post was Jonathan was pretty much back to normal, well he wasn't he was still crying very uncomfortable and now having massive blowout that seemed black and tar looking. So back to the doctors to ask for a stool and urine sample. We turned it in saturday morning and by 9pm the doctor called us. She told me to sit down because his sample came back as a serious bacterial infection in the intestines, which was caused by his antibiotic(augmentin) he took for his ear infection 4 WEEKS ago! Apparently that antibiotic is very strong and took over all his good bacteria and he was left with only the bad bacteria. This explained his weight loss, which was 18 1/2lbs 2 weeks ago! Not wanting to eat because there was no room, and his bloody stool and crankiness. If this would not have been caught Jonathan would be in the hospital today trying to recover, I thank God for giving me insight on knowing to ask for a stool sample because it is VERY hard to know what is hurting on a kiddo that is non verbal! I continue to pray this is what was causing everything that has happened and there is anything else going on inside him, He is back to himself the last 4 days. He is very happy so happy he is belly rolling again and laughing which has been 4 weeks since we have seen a smile,
he is smiling at his sissy and trying to either grab her to say I love you or pushing her away to say o.k you can go now;) I love love love seeing the smiles the last 4 weeks have been very trying! Jonathan did see the doctor today and he was 19.15lbs so that is good. I thank you friends and family for all the prayers! Enjoy the new pics, don't you love his beautiful smile?!

My big 2 year old!

Seriously where does time go? My little man turned 2 years old yesterday and even though we didn't have a great big party we had fun. Jonathan is doing better he isn't 100% but hes 90% back to his norms. We are getting another blood draw today to check his liver it has been questionable the last two times so please pray everything turns out o.k today!
Jonathan LOVES to be out so we went for a drive stopped and got a frosty from Wendys, he loves these things! We went home and just celebrated the 6 of us, my dad and brother we're there too!
Its been trying the last couple weeks with a newborn and on top of that having Jonathan cry and not know what is wrong, so to say I am happy he is almost back to norm is an understatement! I really want to get him back in his pony walker but he is having nothing to do with it, oh well I have to give him time to get back in the groove of things. He really is not enjoying Leah, a lot of sibling rivalry! Whenever he sees me holding her he cries, if she cries he starts crying, he stares at her and wont even smile. He wants me all to himself which in a way makes me sad I want him to like Leah and I know its going to take time but its heartbreaking when I pick her up and he gives me those puppy dog eyes and tears are streaming down his face, he doesn't know why he is not getting 110% of my attention anymore. I have talked with a few micro preemie moms that have had a special needs child then another baby and said the transition was anywhere between 4 and 10 weeks till the older one got used to the idea of another sibling.
Even though its been two years I still miss my other little boy Preston he only lived a short while but I think of him everyday, I imagine what it would be like today with 2 toddlers running around and driving me crazy! I really wish I could have kept them in longer, I wish I could of kept them safe like Leah. I miss you and love you Preston and can't wait for the day we all meet again!
Jonathan, we love you and you are doing awesome with everything you are a very determined little boy, you set out and do things doctors said you wouldn't be able to do. You amaze us, you bring us so much joy your the love of our lives and can't wait to see what this coming year brings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love those eyes!!!!

Some pictures of Leah

The bottom one is me, notice any resemblance?
Our first outing to the pediatrician

I Have only time now to post pics but will do an update later. Leah is a pretty easy baby she is up from 12 to 5am mostly eating, can you believe she is almost eating as much as Jonathan! Jonathan on the other hand is not doing so good I have been in tears a lot because hormones I'm sure but we are back to Jonathan crying day and night it all started about the time Leah came home! He is not eating so good he has actually lost a pound so of course dr. is worried but she agrees first thing we need to do is figure out why he is crying and upset! So please pray that Jonathan gets better soon!

LEAH MARIE

Leah Marie has arrived, 5 weeks early!
She was born at 35.1 weeks. Justin and I were aware that it was possible going to happen wednesday when I went for my nst tuesday. Leah looked great on the nst however I was requiring very little insulin to no insulin at all the last couple days. The doctors discussed that this was a sign the placenta could possible "shut down" in a couple days in which we would of had a stillbirth, very scary!!! So we went back for another nst on wednesday and the day before needed no insulin(my insulin requirements were 4 shots a day for a total of almost 200units, a lot) so that happened at 9am and we were sent down to labor and deliver to get prepared.I was very nervous but knew we made it a lot longer than 25 weeks and knew GOD was in complete control. At 341 pm little Miss Leah was born weighing at 5lbs 4ounces and crying on top of her lungs, only a micro mom would understand why I was crying and laughing at the same time it was music to our ears! She was 18 inches long and required NO NICU time we all came home this last saturday and will update more but for now this will do, I'm tired and its hectic around here!

A hospital stay for me!

So I got admitted to the university thursday night but was able to come home friday late 9pm. The reason for the stay is that my blood pressures have been high or higher than when I first became pregnant my "normal" bp was 116/ mid 70's well the last few weeks its been creeping to about 135's over 90's so last week they asked me all the preclamptic questions if I had blurred vision, headache, sudden swelling, pain in upper right of stomach and I said no to all the above I felt fine. So come thursday I had a severe headache, took 2 tylenol and took a nap, I am so very, very thankful my parents are here to help because I don't know what I would do! Anyway I woke up to the same headache and just thought well it will go away sooner or later plus I was excited because Justin and I were going to get a tour of the birthing rooms later that evening not knowing I was going to get my own private tour! Well Justin came home and said you look pale are you o.k I told him I had a headache for about the last 3 to 4 hours he freaked and called the triage and talked with a nurse they told us to come in and I explained that we had a tour up there and we would come up after if I was still having a headache! Well long story longer we did miss the tour because my headache did get worse. They took my bp and it was 138/95 they started an i.v of saline took cultures and then took another bp which was now 141/105 I was going to be admitted! The residents then decided AFTER all blood work and cultures came back NORMAL that they should start me on magnesium (I HATE this stuff) which I have never had and it really no really sucks! My insulin a bp cuff consistently on my right arm a foley catheter and leg pressure cuffs so I wouldn't get blood clots!!!!!!! I was very upset to say the least my headache was gone after they gave me percoset(sp?) my test came back normal but oh ya I was at a teaching university so hopefully someone there learned something! I was not allowed to get up, or eat and those that know me I get a little feisty when hungry. So then they wanted to do a 24 hr urine test, they had to wake me every hr to make sure I knew who I was because mag. affects everyone different so sleep was not happening that night to say the least. The did give me the steroid shot x'2 hence why I couldn't leave till 9pm because they have to be 24 hrs apart and I really forgot how much that shot hurts! The best thing that did happen though is I got to hear Leah hiccups, kicks, moving everything and she was a superstar I was worried when the docs started talking delivery because I really want to make it to at least 36 weeks (tomorrow I'm 35) but was also very thankful that if she was going to be born 9 weeks longer than the boys is very significant! So I am home now monitoring my bp which has still been high but no other symptoms so they are saying I'm a mild case of preclampsia but that could turn around to severe overnight! I really wish the docs/nurses would know when not to explain things because I have a very worried/frantic husband and now if I even walk to far he wants me to check my bp to make sure I'm o.k, God knows I love him!

The pony walker

Jonathan has done it! He is now walking forward with his pony walker and its without the headrest!!! It is very exciting because the therapy place we were borrowing it from needed it back so we we're left without one then the therapist through the school district started coming and said that our good friends (the Buckleys) daughter didn't need it anymore because she is a champ and walking better without it! Good for us and great for them, anyway the way it was set up is the seat is tilted forward and there is a big table attached so Jonathans arms can rest on that, we put a blanket on the table and he rests his head on that but uses his arms to lift that noggin when he is walking. I will post pics and I would really love to post a video so you can all hear his great laugh, he loves it and looks so happy doing it!
We now have almost all therapy in home for the season, p.t and speech and hopefully in the next month o.t too! We did join aqua therapy again and its on saturdays and its one on one and there are only 3 other kiddos that day, so I am loving it he is not exsposed to any children so hopefully that means he wont get to sick this winter!
As most of you know I am now 34 weeks along and very tired! The plan to take the cerclage out is when I hit 37 weeks and by the way it looks from my last c-section operative report I will be able to go vaginally if I want there are pros and cons! So they say once they take the cerclage out it could be 2 days or a week and everything will happen, they definitly wont let me go past 38 weeks because of the diabetes. The nst are going good we did get a scare last friday because Leahs heartrate was going tachicardic (sp?), very fast but as soon as I went to the bathroom, which seems lately is every 45 mins to hour she cooperated. So we're chugging along only a bit longer and then my beautiful baby girl will be here!!!!

Great growth survey for Leah!

So just wanted to let our faithful followers know that our appointment went great yesterday! Leah looks great she had the hiccups while they were listening to her heart so in between a beat you heard a hiccup! She is a whooping 4lbs 6ozs. I am going to start non stress tests next week every tuesday and friday also they check the fluid levels once a week I think I am really getting excellent care this time round. We are all starting to get a little nervous but was almost in tears when the doc came in to talk to Justin and I and said how remarkable she looks and what a great job I have been doing! I think Jonathan is going to be so surprised but he is such a loving little boy it will all be good. I praise God everyday that she has been able to stay in, just one more day. They scared me a little about the swine flu and if it were to become a pandemic only Justin would be allowed in for the birth and stay, so I pray there is no pandemic but I remember when hospital and doctors offices were freaked out about SARS way back in 2003 or 04 (I think) and we never had a pandemic just scared everyone out of there whits! Well I am getting more and more excited everyday I can't wait to see just how beautiful she is, so only 4.5 more weeks!

Everything is good!

Jonathan is no longer going to go to our very awesome o.t. Stephanie was amazing with Joanthan but because of the flu season I just can't risk him getting sick plus he is not getting the H1N1 vaccination I have to be extra cautious, just wish other parents would do this and not send their sick child to therapies/school its not fair to anyone! We hate leaving but will be back in the spring. We will definitly be diligent about feeding Jonathan because I don't want him to lose what he has learned! We thought he was coming down with a cold but it looks like its just me. I was miserable the last 3 days yesterday I finally went to docs and he said it was bronchitis so I took the antibiotic and today am feeling much better! We gave Jonathan this great homeopathic medicine for cold and cough and it really seemed to work his cough stopped the next day!
I am now 32 weeks pregnant and its getting very clear to me that Leah has little room in my belly she will stretch so Justin and I will be amazed to see this little round head sticking out of one side of my belly, very cute! Tomorrow we go in for growth and am hoping she is almost 4 pounds, 4 pounds that just sounds huge to me and everyother micro preemie mom! It looks like after talking with the doc yesterday we are going to induce at 37 weeks and I really wanted to try vaginal labor but I guess the risk is to high for uterine rupture but I am o.k with this because I just want a healthy baby girl and am praying we can make it to 37 weeks, only 5 weeks left!!!!!!!!!!

Little Miss Leah is 30 weeks along!!!

First lets start with my little big man!
this is his costume this year, a sock monkey!


Jonathan is doing great spoiled but great. We went to Cedar Point and he went into his first haunted house! My boy didn't even get nervous he would be laughing when we got to the exit! I really think the lights and noise kept him entertained. People would stop us at the exit and look at him with amazement and usually say something along the lines of "oh my gosh he's not even crying!" I'm sure a couple people were like crazy family I should call social services for endangering him! Trust me he was fine he did great!

We really need help in the letting him down more I noticed in all the pictures he is being held, no stroller, no laying in the motor home but always in someones arms, I'm sure he doesn't mind though!



Now about little Miss Leah, don't you just love that name?!
I went in today for my 30 week appt. cervix is still closed haven't budged a centimeter. I am so happy I did get the cerclage! Still on progesterone shots although they kill I am also happy I'm taking them! I have had some braxton hicks the last couple weeks but nothing to worry about, I say this after I went to emergency and they told me they were braxton hicks! She is almost 3 1/2 pounds she is getting bigger and I love it, I even love the kicks (and there are many) where you look at my tummy and we play guess if it was a foot, hand, or elbow! People that I don't know tell me how small I am for 30 weeks, personally I feel big!


I guess as long as Leah is growing I don't care how big or small I look! Justin and I were sitting in the hospital and a nurse noticed my shirt moving and she said I think someone wants out. We both looked at each other and both at the same time said "no" its way to early she looked at us and said oh I was just kidding! Then today at my appt. I had a lady complaining about how she can't wait to deliver she can't stand the kicking and heartburn and turned to me to say how far along are you, oh I bet you can't wait either. To her surprise I said oh I can wait I can wait for as long as it is to have a healthy baby! I will say its so cool to be this far along because we both know I am not going to get pregnant again to feel the hard kicks, to feel tired to show off my belly to sing and touch her and know that because of our great GOD I have a growing baby in there, I feel so proud of myself! I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous still because I am but because she is such a mover and kicker it helps! Please continue to keep us in prayer for a healthy baby girl!

Chew it, chew it......

Jonathan is continuing to do great with feeding. He has mastered pudding texture loves Carmel Dulce DE leche pudding (my boy)! He is doing really well with graham cracker crumbs crushed in it and now we are doing cheerios! We have done noodles and he really likes it especially if it has cheese, he does get a bit nervous when its first introduced in his mouth but we sing..



chew it, chew it, chew it
chew it so you don't choke
chew it, chew it, chew it
chew it so it goes down your throat.




He loves the song and knows exactly what to do when its sung.I admit the exercise that we do in his mouth has really helped, no more gagging we have been able to get the spoon to the back of his mouth with no problems. The exercise is from Beckmans so how you do it is: put your first finger inside mouth, thumb on outside and do big circles while pulling out a little on cheek while you do it. Start out so your kiddo don't choke and within a week or two you will probably be able to get to the back molar area!

My parents took him to the state fair and he rode the carousal then he sat with my father and a baby kangaroo. He wasn't so sure about it and you can tell by the pic he might have not enjoyed sharing papa's lap!



This weekend we are taking Jonathan to cedar point an amusement park in Ohio and camping. The weather is starting to get cold starting this weekend so its almost time for summer to come to an end!

Jonathans home and his first dentist appointment!

Jonathan is home I missed him so much! He seems to have grown longer but not really any wider but thats o.k he is a very happy boy! He tried some new food with stew being his favorite, yuck he didn't get that from me:) My parents took tons of video but no pictures! I thought maybe he would forget who I was but I was standing at the gate waiting for them to get off the plane and when he seen me he just started laughing, guess he didn't forget!

The next day we went to our state fair and he pet lots of animals and licked the powder off my funnel cake, I only ate a bit because of the diabetes!

Today he had his first visit to the dentist, she was awesome very friendly and kind! She talked for a little bit then got Jonathan to smile and laugh then went in his mouth he didn't cry, moan nothing she scraped his teeth to check the strength then brushed them in which he laughed cause at home when we brush we say tickle tickle tickle your teeth then she applied some fluoride. She was very impressed with how white, straight and strong his teeth are after being in the NI for so long. He does have an underbite which may change with his growing jaw and every tooth is popped through except his lateral teeth on the bottom you can feel them but their not through so we have to just wait. It was so nice to go see a doctor and finally hear everything is good and no problems!

What is a mom to do????

O.K I am BORED! Jonathan has been gone since Wendnesday afternoon and actually I was good about him going to Florida with grandma, grandpa and uncle Matt the airport was very nice about letting Justin and I walk to the departing gate to see them all off(after 9/11 they only let you go up to security and you have to say your goodbyes there) it was around Jonathans nap time so I put him to sleep in my arms but then when it was time to board the plane and I had to hand him over I started feeling my eyes swell then of course tears. Now I know his grandparents know exactly what to do, plus after going over everything about 100 times I was not worried about that but this was our first time away from him more than just over night! The gate attendant was really nice he tried pursuading me to buy a ticket and go but I am just way nervous about flying and being pregnant and the what ifs... plus since disney is my favorite spot it wouldnt take much pursuading otherwise! So I gave my baby another kiss and off they went. They had to call as soon as they landed so my stomach would no longer be in knots thank heavens its only a 2 hour plane ride! They got there safe and sound Jonathan slept the whole way except when they were landing he woke cause of the bumps. Of course I call everymorning and every evening to talk to him and see what there doing and how his feedings are going. Friday my mom said he had so much head control that she has never seen it that good. They are definitly spoiling him holding him everywhere and not letting him stay in his stroller (they tell me with it being 90 to 100 degrees he doesnt like the stroller) he's loving ice cream and he loves shamu the whale at Sea World, they went to the ocean and he loved trying to jump the waves with grandpas help, he liked the water park except for his face getting wet and he is pretty much pooped by the evening he has been sleeping good and eating fine so I am happy but definitly missing him. On the other hand justin and I have gone out to dinner almost everynght enjoying stillwater for his birthday! We went camping and slept till 10am which felt awesome! I think I will be a little productive today and tidy up Jonathans room and put away summer clothes and start getting fall and winter clothes out we went shopping (retail therapy is the best therapy) and bought some cute outfits and tomorrow I am going out with some friends and going to lunch and then clean house some more then tuesday evening I go and pick up my sweet boy!!!

Random Photos

These are just some random photos from the last couple weeks. He has been very spoiled when it comes to naps, Jonathan takes a great two hour nap but it has to be on me (my belly) which is starting to be very difficult, but he has managed o.k while his uncle Matt holds him! I think I might want to break this before baby Leah comes!
Another picture of him being spoiled he can't stand it when we go through drive thru, I think a lot has to do with he wants to eat too however this is getting better he is chewing pretty good cause he was starting to get sick of everything being mushy,(he is growing up) he ate a little pita bread and yea he does get a little nervous but we sing him "chew it, chew it, chew it" while showing him our mouths chewing and usually he does just fine. So the picture of my dad holding him outside his carseat while we go through drive thru (unbelievable)!

SWIMMING! I need to say no more this child of fine is a fish. Grandma and grandpa have been taking him in our pool almost everyday, he loves it.

Then we went over Justins parents and put him in the lake with his floaty and he loved it he almost fell asleep in his float because of the waves rocking him! One of the pics is in his carseat with his swimsuit on and he doesn't look to happy but once he knew he was going swim, swim, swimming he was a happy camper! notice how long he is!


Well my parents leave with Jonathan this Wednesday for a week to Orlando, to say I am going miss him is an understatement. I am a little nervous he has spent the night with g&g before for a night but this time a week guess I be doing lots of phone calls! I already have plans of cleaning Jonathan's room putting summer clothes away going shopping to get fall and winter clothes ready and possible buying a big boy bed since we will use the crib for Leah. I still haven't bought a single girl outfit I am still nervous, I think I'll wait for another 5 weeks then I'll be 30 weeks along! I can't believe summer is coming to an end but its exciting because I am still pregnant, thank you Lord and its getting closer to the due date!!!!!

WHY???

This is not supposed to be a depressing post but I have been staying awake a lot at night thinking about so much I thought I would post it and maybe it would help.

Jonathan is doing great, he is now using the honey bear cup and he took some sucks by himself I don't know were time goes but he is sure growing up!
I look at him and he is so perfect in my eyes yet why don't other people see that. Why when we go to the park all the other mommies are chating and I am sitting on the swing just so Jonathan can feel the wind in his hair. Why do I see a mom in the mall with two "typical" twin boys and I constintly think what did I do or not do that I can't have both my boys, why I will have to explain to Leah she had another brother but was just to little to survive. Why do I have to even think about Jonathan going to preschool next year it terrifies me, will he have an aide, will they know what he wants, will he understand that mommy is dropping him off but I WILL be back for him later, he has never been away from me or if he has its been with grandma and papa. Why, Why, Why do I have to constintly fight for therapy? When I get a denial letter because 1) speech is not a nessecity, what the crap does that mean, speech is a huge thing he will be able to talk maybe only a few words or maybe GOD has another plan. or 2) Only needs 2 days a week instead of three days a week of p.t, again what the heck does this so called person sitting behind a desk know about my son, nothing absolutly nothing I challenge him or her to come to my home and look at my son and tell me in my face he is fine and only needs certain days, I didn't ask to use this so called "benefit" of therapy through my insurance if we didn't have to by all means we wouldn't use it, I am not the only one that has to fight for things I read about others of special need kids and its not just fighting for therapies its a fight for EVERYTHING, schools, equiptment, services why is this? I am scared of what the future will bring to Jonathan if us parents have to fight for our kids and for those of us that have non verbal kids what will they do when there older who will protect them, who will be their voice? I really want to start a fund its not going to save the special needs world but if it could help a handful of great, smart, happy, loving kids wouldn't that be wonderful? So if you have any ides on how I would start this drop me a comment I know my hands will be busy when Leah comes but I have a ways for that and if I could just look into it and get some ideas that would be so awesome!!!!! FOr all of you that have special need kids, keep fighting its hard I know but some of these kids have only one voice and thats you and if you do have a special needs kid I compliment you its a hard journey and I don't know you or your child but it doesn't matter your kiddo is great, smart, funny, happy, and it because of you!!!!!

Laura

He's eating!!

Jonathan did great with the pudding and graham crackers he ate it with no problems at some points he would get a peice of cracker and look at us as to what do I do with this but Stephanie just gave him more pudding and down it went. Yesterday I was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with chicken noodle soup and Jonathan was on my lap and of course watched every bite I took I know your supposed to wait till 2 till you give kiddos peanut butter but I tried it anyway, he loved it and had probably a good teaspoon worth then I thought I would try a noodle, I had to work up enough guts to try it cause I don't want him to gag. So I tried a little bite and he immidiatly brought it out with his tongue which is great he didn't gag he knew it was something different but then brought it back in his mouth and CHEWED! No gagging no spit up he did chew it for some while so it was pretty mushy but oh well he did it. I didn't want to press my luck so thats all I tried we'll try again another day. We learned he loves blueberries mashed up really good and sprinkle a little sugar and he thought he was in heaven. I continue to make him high cal smoothies and he has now tried apricots, blueberries, mango and kiwi and seems to like them. Still the majority of his calories goes through his tubie tube but he is doing ten times better then 2 months ago!

Baby Leah is growing she now weighs 1lb 1oz at 22weeks she is in the 55-60 percentage we had a fetal heart echo due to the gestational diabetes actually there is an increase of birth defects with this however her little heart looked beautiful and there is no signs of any defects and surprisingly they did not want a follow up the nurse practitioner said 90% of cases get a follow up just in case. So little Leah is doing good she now kicks frequently and gets hiccups often. Only another 15 weeks yipee!!!

So heartbreaking!

Jonathan is doing great, he did have a cold and lost about a pound but am very confident he will gain his weight back. He has been very active with grandma and papa, they have spoiled him (nothing new) taking him to fowlerville fair almost everyday he really enjoyed the animals but loved the demolition derby, tractor pulls and another day od demolition derby justin and I both went to the last demolition derby and my parents weren't kidding! Jonathan smiled from ear to ear and just giggled when those engines roared he really loved watching them smash into each other laughing and jumping while daddy was standing him up on his lap. Tell me does that sound like ALL boy to you?!! They have taken him to the movies and he did really well it was an imax movie at greenfield village, my parents have a membership there so they go often, I particularly can go once or twice and I've seen enough but Jonathan loves it too so that is great.

Jonathan started feeding therapy about 2 months ago with a new therapist at a new place. His therapist was really surprised at how eager he wants to eat but gagged if you went any further than his front teeth then said he needs to be desensitized sure dude whatever you say! You can tell I was optimistic about anything working because we have tried what I thought of as everything! Well fast forward to now and Jonathan more then ever wants to eat, we will get something to go and Jonathan watches from his carseat and cries he opens his mouth licks his lips anything to get food in his mouth. So as we pulled over I got him out and I was eating a cheese omelet and Jonathan ate all the gooey cheese and just loved it but this happens ALL the time we have even stopped him from being in his high chair when we eat because he doesn't get that whatever is going on in his belly won't let him have more than a couple ounces even though he might reflux he wants to do it again and cries because he wants real food and clearly as of right now he can take pudding like texture and he won't touch baby food not even stage 3 he wants our food! Well yesterday at his feeding therapy Jonathan ate 1/2 butterscotch pudding he likes flavor no vanilla or chocolate he wants lemon, butterscotch, carmel(pudding of course) Stephanie his o.t can now get her fingers all the way back to his molars no gagging no reflux just sits there looking at her (as we are clapping and praising him) as to say "oh this is what you wanted me to do , no biggie" and opens his mouth a little bigger he has done this for the last couple weeks with this week being the best. So next week we will be trying crushed graham crackers in pudding to change a little of the texture. He still drinks about 3-4 ounces of water a day by mouth on top of his blended high calorie smoothies(smoothies by g tube). He also loves sweet tea, thats my boy right there!!! I tried giving him propel a flavored water with just a tiny bit of calories. SO I asked him do you want water, I wasn't lying it is water just a little berry flavor he eagerly opened his mouth happy to take some, as I put it in his mouth he looked at me as though I was poisoning him and preceded to spit it out he thought it was the grossest thing ever he didn't let me hold him the rest of the night thank GOD it was in the evening I felt terrible. I'll let him stick with water sweet tea and a little bit of cola, all I can say is I tried! SO hopefully with prayer and lots of it, he will be able to take the crushed crackers and we can move to bigger things.

It's a......

GIRL!!!

20 weeks along and going strong, I went today to make sure everything looks good and baby looks great she is getting big and had her feet and hands in her mouth. In two weeks they will be doing measurements and weight. I am starting to get nervous any little twitch or cramp I just start praying! This little girl has a lot more baking to do!

Look at my boy, I am so proud!

Ok so I said we were getting a kid walker, well the p.t thought lets try the pony walker and see what happens. I had tears, he was so happy when grandpa put him in it. Jonathan has not really attempted to walk but look at him his head is held high just a rest behind his head he has it up without my help, he was standing!!! Now don't get me wrong he got very tired after about 10 minutes and his head did plop down but 10 minutes is huge, humungous, ginormous o.k you get the point, I am just so amazed at my little man!

Hippo Therapy, My big 30th, Fourth of July and Walking N Rolling

Jonathan is doing great with horse therapy his legs are very loose which is helping with his walking, his head control is still loose however both p.t and o.t and of course us have noticed when his head falls he does control it to bring it back up! He hates wearing his helmet so usually halfway through its off his head and he is so happy.

I had my big 30 which my husband did a fantastic job at planning, it was on the fourth so we had a great firework display too. Jonathan was is a great mood the whole day he is now getting another molar so he has been a little pukey and whiny.

Jonathan is getting a walker I am so thrilled about this. He has been "walking" with our help of holding his upper half for a good while so our p.t has insisted on getting him a Kid Walker I seen it a couple weeks ago and it is so cool! The wheels light up and it fits Jonathan pretty good he might have to grow another inch but since it takes 3 months to get it we mine as well get it now plus our p.t is going to let us borrow one for the time being. Jonathan has been getting around the house by using his feet he plants them on the floor and pushes off he is getting really good at this we leave him for a minute and he is in a completely new area. He also is rolling not all the time but doing better then he has he hates being on his belly so if you hear him cry you usually know he ended up on his belly!


We just ordered Jonathans glasses he looks like a little professor and they will be here in about 2 weeks. He continues to do really good at responding, we ask him if he wants water he opens his mouth and he is taking it by sippy cup, we ask him what a doggy does and he sticks out his tongue and pants like a dog (that is what his new speech therapist taught him) he is now saying "hi" when HE wants to but does do it for the therapists and of course new girls he meets(my little flirt)! We are now starting to go to a new speech therapist she is great, we are going to work on switches for him and practice more speech he will mimic what the therapist is saying ex. she will say bu bu bubbles then proceed to blow bubbles which is one of his favorite things in the world and then you see Jonathan put his lips together like trying to do this and using the switches has actually been proven to want kids that are going to be verbal use their voice sooner, I don't know but he says hi and we only used a switch a handful of times!

Check out this picture of Jonathans hair, its getting out of control people will ask if we cut his hair like this, uh no its a natural mohawk!





About the baby, I am still pregnant and showing, the diabetes is killing me but oh well. We went in for our 18 week survey and all measurements were great actually the baby is weighing 9oz thats the 70th percentile yippee!! Oh for any of you that want to know the sex I will say in my next post in a few days don't you just love suspense!

A great story

This is actually coming from another blog and I just loved it and thought I would share..

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

"Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."


The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."
God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."


Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"
God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."


"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."


"Who will protect me?"
God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking it's life."


"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."


At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."


"You will simply call her, 'Mom.'"

Busy, Busy, Busy

For Jonathan that is! Jonathan has had a very busy two weeks to say the least. My parents have really been helping out and now I can't pick him up for the remainder of the pregnancy which has proven to be very difficult but once he see's grandma or grandpa he is a happy dude knowing he is going to be picked up. Well my parents have taken him to a fair that was in hamburg which is basically down the street, Jonathan rode a camel with my brother and then held a baby alligator with grandpa and my brother. I was a little freaked out when I saw the pictures and it looked to me Jonathan was a bit confused about the alligator (they do rubber band the mouth shut) but he had fun. We have gone to two graduation parties and he loves people so him getting shuffled around was a blast, he loves ice cream and I love giving it to him, my brother thought it would be great to give him cotton candy in which Jonathan thought it was the most disgusting thing out there and spit it out while giving my brother the are you crazy giving me that, look! Then it was off to downtown Detroit for a walk by the river, and going to Detroit institute of arts. Then yesterday was the big international fireworks on the Detroit river so my parents took him to Canada for the festival which they didn't stay long due to the weather being 98 degrees but they went into their hotel room which was facing the river and he stayed there splashing in the pool till firework time then went to watch them but Jonathan had already fell asleep! So for the last two weeks Jonathan has been sleeping really good my parents really are wearing him out and he LOVES it he does not like being home unless he can go swimming outside then he is a happy camper! I believe today they are going to the zoo I will have to give them my camera so I can get some picture because they haven't taken any!! Then in August my parents are taking Jonathan for a week to Orlando my favorite place in the world!

I did get my cerclage done this past tuesday the actual stitching didn't hurt I talked with the anesthesiologist the whole time about Jonathan its funny how many people don't realize the extent of cp, I say my son has cp and its oh I'm sorry and they think he is just sitting in some wheelchair left alone and is totally handicapped. Yes he does have handicaps but he is the happiest dude around very responsive and loves to watch Blues Clues! Then what really gets them is when I tell them he rides a horse for therapy I usually get some weird looks then of course I have to say there is a therapist that rides with him but just in 3 sessions Jonathans legs are so lose I hate missing this week but I have to take it easy until friday then I can start doing things as normal except I can't pick Jonathan up! I was in pain yesterday I could hardly walk and had some minor cramping, today I am feeling better no cramping and I am going to do a little more walking, some retail therapy sounds good for me! So as long as I'm up to it we are leaving tomorrow to go to Ludington on lake Michigan so the boys can go fishing and I can relax it should be a nice weekend up there too! Then the following week is the 4th our annual party which I am so not ready for, Justin is we have both our jetskis working and Justin just bought another tube that you stand up on which I would have loved to ride however I will have to wait till next year and I am missing wakeboarding too, I'm not the best but I love it! We have lots of fireworks its nice we have a pyrotechnic in the family so we will all be on the boats while the fireworks go off, we are a pretty competitive family so everyone on the lake trys (I said trys) to out beat us it hasn't happened so far but we'll see!

No cerclage yet! But I do have gestational diabetes, ugh!

So my cerclage was cancelled after 7 pokes of trying to get an i.v started and 4 additional shots of lidocaine! There was an emergency C-section that took a lot longer than planned so I could have continued to wait (we were already there from 10am till about 5pm) and starve or I could go home and eat. So we went home not before stopping at my favorite sub shop Dibellas oh I love that place!

I also have g.diabetes and this for me is probably the hardest thing in the world to control! I love I mean LOVE pasta, chips, bread oh I am getting hungry just thinking of these things! So to say this is a hard thing to control is an understatement but I am with 4 shots a day of insulin! I really don't fit the profile of g. diabetes says the doctors I'm 5'7 140 lbs (remember I'm pregnant) and interesting enough I did not have it with the boys I was however a beautiful 123 lbs and gained to 140 when I delivered them so the docs are thinking maybe its weight but I am not by far obese so I can't believe its because I gained 20 some pounds but another guess is I will have diabetes even after I give birth (to a 38 weeker of course)
Do you realize I am probably ice creams biggest fan and do you realize its summer and ice cream and summer go together! So I am allowed a little just can't go to extreme it is so hard when your pregnant and craving ice cream ughhhhhh! But I am doing this and I am doing this for my growing beautiful baby inside but its still hard! So I am still getting the cerclage this coming tuesday and July 9th we find out what our beautiful baby will be!

Who's going to be a big brother...?

I AM!!!!





Yes, thats right! Jonathan is going to be a big brother! I am currently 14 weeks along and praying and knowing GOD has a perfect plan for this growing family! I am going tomorrow for a cerclage and than waiting 20 to 24 weeks for another miracle to be born! Please keep us in your prayers!!!

Higgins Lake Camping Trip!

What a great time we had! The weather was o.k, friday was very nice, saturday was cold and then it rained that night into sunday! All in all it was fine. We went with our friends the Buckleys they have triplets (26 weekers)close in age with Jonathan and one of their daughters has CP. What a blast it was to watch Jonathan just take everything in, I really thought he would pay attention to Annabel their daughter that has cp but I was wrong he watched Madeline and their son Johnathan but I really think he was watching Maddy closest! Maddy was saying "hi" a lot this weekend and it was so cool because our Jonathan tried mimicking her and when Maddy and Johnathan were walking around my boy wanted to follow them I would put him on his feet and he would just smile and try to walk with them (with help of course)! Jonathan did "play" with Annabel they were on the floor and we all have the same early on therapist so when our Jonathan got one of Annabels toys she used to have she seen it and wanted to play with it! Our jonathan is not so mobile but when he seen her playing with it he would take his foot and try to move her away from it, I guess I need to teach him to share however Annabel is a lot more mobile than Jonathan so she just moved out of his way and continued to play, very cute!

Another funny thing is Justin and I had ribs about two weeks ago and he insists on boiling first then putting it on the grill, well I told him I was reading that you should just put them on the grill and slowly cook it because boiling takes some flavor away. Yea right my husband listen no way his manly way is the only way to cook it, well get this! BJ (Jamies husband) was going to cook ribs for us slowly on the camp fire so no boiling! Justin was in love and so was I, I don't think I heard my husband say thank you so much for food! They were super tender and tasted great, thanks BJ there was no way Justin would have ever listened to me!

We also had smores, which I couldn't eat to many(will explain in a later post) but the two I did have were excellent
We let Jonathan sleep in his own bed and he loved it and did great! We went on a couple stroller walks that were really nice,Jamie had our Jonathan cracking up she played peek a boo with him while he was in the stroller he actually always smiled at her when she smiled at him, he so cute! We watched the red wing game outside next to the camp fire and had many people come and ask us the score, it was a lot of fun and can't wait to go again with them!

Teething Bites!

Well just less than a month ago I was writing about Jonathan having two teeth, so much for that he now has two top, top and bottom molars and still the lonely bottom tooth..how? He has been miserable off and on and his tongue and hands in mouth with chewing have been in overdrive my little baby is looking more like a toddler!

We also officially turned the carseat around he is 20 lbs and he LOVES (understatement) looking forward especially if we put in a movie! We are going camping tomorrow with our friends for the weekend and it supposed to be nice I can't wait. Justin and I bought Jonathan a camping chair so when we make smores he can sit there without us having to hold him. I think this chair will work great and can't wait to post pictures.

Jonathan started horse therapy and did o.k there was no crying which I was very surprised over! He actually fell asleep on the horse so it only lasted about 25 minutes but we will start doing this every week. He still enjoys his water therapy but hoping daddy will soon hook up our heater to our pool so he will enjoy that too! It honestly is silly to have a pool here in michigan our weather changes so frequently! We went on the pontoon boat last week and again this year I see this being our wind down for the day its so relaxing, Jonathan loves watching everyone on the lake. This year I think he is going to try tubing o.k just kidding maybe next year?!!

Memorial weekend we went to mackinaw island. It was so beautiful I was a bit nervous to go because of the teething but Jonathan did great! We walked the island ate lots of fudge found out my kid loves chocolate fudgsicles it was great. He did good sleeping in the motorhome besides getting up every once in awhile because his teeth hurt.

Last but not least Jonathan has a definite personality he is either super happy or a crank! When he wants to be left alone please leave him alone he wants nothing to do with anyone, he is super independent which will get him far with his cp! Even with his teething I want to cuddle him but he wants to be left alone puts his hands in his mouth and he tries to calm himself! He is a super flirt with the gals if your a female and you smile at him boy your in for a treat he gets the biggest cheese on his face!
Will update with more pics next time!